My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
