I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
