Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
