How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
