I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
