He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
