I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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