I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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