One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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