Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
