they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
