There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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