Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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