yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize