Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
