New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize