I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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