My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
