Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
