paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
