nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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