What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
