Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i believe in u and ur pee
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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