we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
