Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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