dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
