She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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