Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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