I have demons in me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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