I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
