You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
