It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
