You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
