And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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