I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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