I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
