just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
