really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize