My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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