my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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