im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize