someone threw a dead crab at me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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