wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
