I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
