my shit smells like andre
it's like iHOP with fire
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
