My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
