just come out here and I will go home with you...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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