his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My liver just had a heart attack.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize