I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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