I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
