She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.