i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
