I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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