Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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