so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
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I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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