I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
