im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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